When you become a parent, you will ceaselessly find yourself contemplating how best to raise your child. And things only get more complicated when you have more than a child at home – with sibling rivalry being one of the most common issues faced many parents.

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Siblings competing with each other can create feelings of jealousy, incompetence, inferiority complexes, and can ultimately result in constant petty fighting . This leads to a constant need for parental intervention. Most often, siblings differ greatly in terms of personality traits and talents from each other. No two individuals are the same, even if they are from the same mother.

If you want both your kids to develop to their fullest potential, then you should nurture a sense of self in both your children at a very early age. You should teach them to identify their unique competencies and potential, to help them grow as independent individuals – with their own thoughts, actions and deeds.

Read on for some tips for parents to help siblings individually identify their talents, strengths and weaknesses at a very young age.

Educate them when you are young
Right from when your child is very young, instil the feeling of self in them. Encourage them to identify their own strengths and weaknesses, without drawing comparisons with others, particularly their siblings. Avoid branding your child and placing one of your children against the other with a comparative measure – be it based on score grades, talents, looks, skills et al. Teach them to accept their uniqueness, improve upon their weaknesses, and be prepared to face challenges from the outside world.

Never compare
Do not compare draw comparisons between siblings. Always encourage them to believe in their dreams and pursue it relentlessly with consistent efforts. If you compare and thrust your expectations on a growing child, they tend to lose confidence and thus fail to trust in their abilities.

Allow your children to express themselves
Allow your child to express themselves, be it in the form of art, craft, paintings, extracurricular activities or even providing their opinion on a topic of interest or an issue that sparked nationwide debate. Allow your children to talk and express their thoughts. Do not shut them off or ignore their expression.

Give your children time to learn and grow, and respect their opinions and sense of individuality. This will give you a better understanding of what they seek and want.

To avoid and escape fights between siblings arising out of conflicts in opinions, try not to weigh in favor of one or the other. Instead, teach your children to understand and embrace new perspectives and approaches to looking at situations.

Teach your kid to never quit
Teach your children to believe in themselves, even when things go wrong. For instance, if one of your children scores lesser grades in school, as compared to their sibling, do not say things that will demotivate your child from performing the next time.

Appreciate your children for their hard work. Teach them the importance of never quitting when things don’t go well as planned, and of instead trying harder the next time. Always give them second chances to perform, understand and rectify their mistakes. Encourage, support and compliment your children when they excel in an activity that they enjoy doing.

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Nurture family values and traditions
A weekly pizza night or a movie, outstation vacation trip every summer or a terrace party with neighbours is bound to perk the enthusiasm of your children. These shared family experiences will help create a sense of bonding between your siblings and give them memories to cherish when they grow up.

If you follow the aforementioned pointers, your children will be able to identify their unique potential in comparison to their siblings, improve upon their strengths, and work on weaknesses – growing into independent and self-assured individuals

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