Preparing for your next child? You will surely have taken into account how it will affect all aspects of your life, and made the necessary adjustments. You would have certainly calculated how another child would impact your finance, lifestyle, social life, etc. Amidst all this planning and preparation though, there is a crucial question you need to ask yourself.

Is your first child ready for a sibling?
Chances are, you would have missed out on this aspect altogether. You might have been prepared from every possible perspective, but would have forgotten that it is not just you and your spouse, but also your previous child, who has to adapt to a lot of changes. This can be especially challenging when your first child is still a toddler. The challenges vary depending on the age of the first child – whether he or she is a toddler, in early childhood or in late childhood. Each of the stages has its own challenges. But the causes remain the same.

Globally, here are the challenges faced by the kids when expecting a new sibling:

• The first child is used to being the center of attention in the family and will feel insecure about losing that position.
• The first child has to share toys, and space, with the new sibling.
• The child will have to understand that it will no longer be pampered; at least not as much as before.

As a parent, if you handle this with care, it will be fine. But most parents take this lightly, and in the end, have to face a frustrated child. Sometimes, the kid comes to accept the new status quo in the family; but there are also cases that require counseling. To avoid things progressing to that point, it is better that you properly prepare your child for a new sibling.

Wondering how to go about it? Then read on.

First and foremost, you need to understand that your kid is not at all prepared for a new sibling. So it is important for you to break the ice with your child and start discussing the baby. While there might be some questions that you cannot answer, you must nevertheless make an effort to come to an understanding with your child. Given below are tips for how to break the ice, depending on the age-group your child is currently in:

If your kid is only one year old
A one-year-old kid will not understand what pregnancy is all about. The only thing that it can understand is that you have a growing tummy. You can begin the process of explaining things to your child by getting a doll and referring it as a baby. Then point to your tummy and say, “baby.” One-year-old kids are socially programmed. When you do this, you are actually feeding the child with the idea of expecting something from the tummy-in this case, it is a baby. If your kid wants to touch your bump, allow them to. But teach them to be soft and tender and also teach them not to play around you much and to generally be careful around you. During the second half of the pregnancy, when the kicking is more pronounced, allow your child to touch and feel the soon-to-be-born baby.

If your kid is two years old
When your kid is two years old, it can understand many things better. One of the best ways to break the ice and introduce the new baby is to show your child a neighbor, or friend of yours, who has recently given birth to a second baby. You can talk like this, “You know Ryan, your school friend, has a baby sister.”  Then you can say, “You will also have a baby brother or sister in a few months.” This way the kid is conditioned to expect a baby brother or sister of his own.

The kid will throw questions like how long it will take, etc. Inspire curiosity in the child. Tell your child that when the new baby comes, it will have to use their toys, and will sleep with mom and dad. Also, tell your kid that they should take care of the sibling. Kids, when imbued with a sense of ownership, will respond better.

If your kid is in early childhood
Here, you can plainly tell your kid that there is a baby on the way. And that they have to share their things with the baby, take care of it, etc. Also, explain that you have to go to the hospital to bring the baby out. You are sure to have all sorts of questions like:

“How did the baby get in there?”

“How will it come out?”

“Is it eating in there?”

Kids are curious, and they can be quite creative in their thinking. So they will have loads of questions. There are a number of resources available online that will give you a better understanding of how to tackle such questions. Avoid negatively conditioning the kid by scolding them when they come near the baby; because this will lead to the older child holding the newborn responsible for the scolding that they got.

Late childhood
By this point, any child in this age group would have seen his friends or neighbors having siblings. Usually, these kids will start longing for a baby in the home to play with or take care of. Kids of this age love to boast about their siblings to friends. Whatever it is, tell your kids plainly that you are expecting a baby. Also, instruct them on what to do. Be tender with your kid while explaining things. Be patient, and above all, never get angry.

With a little determination and a lot of patience, you can prepare your first born to be an understanding and considerate sibling to your newborn, when the time comes.