Many people would prefer to steer clear of a passive-aggressive person. But what if you are the one displaying passive-aggressive behavior traits? You may simply be someone unconsciously being passive-aggressive towards certain people or you could have a passive-aggressive personality disorder.
But what exactly is the passive-aggressive definition? How to recognize that you might be a passive-aggressive person?
Passive-aggressive behavior includes subtlety, sullenness or indirect actions directed against a person. Some passive-aggressive examples can be a friend always distracted by her phone when talking to you or your spouse not expressing overt anger at you but refusing to look at you or respond to you in the usual loving way. It could include subtle insults such as ‘I wish I could buy new outfits every month like you do but I need to save my money to take care of the necessities’.

Here are seven signs that can indicate passive-aggressive behavior.

Intentionally ignoring a person

Do you deliberately ignore greeting a colleague or hearing your partner? It consists of not acknowledging someone in such a subtle way that the other person may not be sure if your actions were intentional or not. A passive-aggressive husband or wife could be ignoring the other when eating breakfast together in a very deliberate way by engaging in actions such as reading something on the phone.

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Making sarcastic statements

Do you often make statements that are sarcastic in nature that stem from your displeasure or jealousy? You may compliment a friend but your statements are meant to actually belittle her. Passive-aggressive men and women can display fake behavior when complimenting someone. You could actually be insulting them by saying things like ‘Congratulations on your new house. How small and cute it is, you must love it!’ Or ‘I love your new dress. I had the same outfit when I was in college.’

Expressing desire for something through your statements

Do you often make wistful statements? No, it is not in some ‘it is my dream and I am sharing it with my friend’ kind of way. But more like ‘I could do with a beach holiday right about now but alas not possible for me’ kind of statement when a friend informs you that they might be going to their family beach house. This behavior is to put the onus of the invitation on another person.

Sabotaging

Do you sabotage others through subtle actions? Passive-aggressive behavior can be sabotaging in ways that are not physically harmful but can still harm you or inconvenience others. A friend extending an invitation a day before the event or a spouse not picking your dry cleaning as agreed right before you are to go to an important meeting wearing that outfit are some examples of sabotaging others in a passive-aggressive manner.

Expressing stubbornness

Do you become stubborn to inconvenience or punish others? People can be stubborn and then defend their behavior through logic. But it may not be clear if their behavior was deliberate or not.

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Leaving tasks undone repeatedly

Do you often procrastinate in ways that impact other people? Leaving dishes undone, always late for meetings (just slightly) or arriving late for dinner parties (because you forgot) can be signs of passive-aggressive behavior.

Showing sullenness

Do you become sullen to deliberately spoil another person’s mood? A person can intentionally become sad or upset when others around them are jovial. It can upset the general mood in a room or bring the attention to you. A sullen or brooding person can sour the atmosphere anytime and anywhere by an intentional display of hostile or surly behavior.

So if you want to avoid coming across as passive-aggressive, it would be a good idea to make sure that the answer to all the aforementioned questions is ‘No’.

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