I had always been a healthy child. I hovered between being overweight and borderline obesity but never let it weight too much on my mind. Food was happiness to me and I genuinely enjoyed my mother’s home cooked meals and the desserts and fast food options around me. All this changed when I entered college. Being amidst new people and staying away from home was a new experience for me. That was also when I first started comparing myself to the other thinner girls around. My first year of college was a period of anxiety, self-doubt, and depression, and I struggled with making friends, let alone finding dates. I used to be alone most of the times, working on projects or reading books. The anxiety and depression only made me rely more on food, and this has a tumbling effect. I started putting on weight like never before. A regular random blood test revealed that I was borderline diabetic. That was the day I woke up and realized that things were really wrong. I should not be worried about diabetes in my early 20s. I called my parents and cried over the phone, took a few days off and went back home.

I was practicing breathing and squatting exercises throughout my second and third trimester, hoping this would ease the process. My mother-in-law would often call me to say, “No matter what you do, it is pain like never before!” But I was determined to make it as smooth and easy for me and for my little bundle of joy. Recommended Read:  Benefits of A Prenatal Massage Friday 23rd Sept, 2017: I was checking emails, having breakfast like every other day when I started to feel slight unease and a few contractions. The first few times, I ignored it because if nothing else in the last 9 months, I had learnt that every contraction is not labor! Then I started noticing a pattern to the contractions and I decided to time them. They would come and go at intervals of about 10-15 minutes. They made me feel slightly uncomfortable, but I was able to carry on my routine activities. By evening, the contractions were at 6 minute intervals. At this point, I told myself, “It is time to call my husband!” I called my husband, his mother, my parents and asked them to come over as soon as possible. My husband was at work, which was about 20 miles away from where we stayed.

All that glitters is not gold. Isn’t that what we’ve always been told? Well, what if you’re Midas? Believe me, if you are, then it’s not a superpower. It’s a disaster. There was a time when I was making tens of thousands of dollars a week. And then, I started gambling. In just five years, I made millions. But I also ruined my life. Ironic, isn’t it? In the wink of an eye, my gambling turned into an addiction. The kind where I’d even forget to eat because my brain was preoccupied by the idea of making money – an insane amount of money! My condition deteriorated to the point where it became a compulsion. I was in fact, diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD. I’ve gotten better since then of course. A lot better. But before I get to the part where I got cured, maybe I should start at the beginning and give you a better idea of the absolute mess I made of my life… The road I shouldn’t have taken I was a freelance programmer. After graduating from one of Texas’ finest colleges, I decided to go freelance. I just never saw myself as the guy who could work in an office, throughout the day.

I pondered for weeks and months as to whether I should write about this. More than the time and the effort, it takes courage to admit on paper that you have an eating disorder! The biggest question I had to answer was, “Why should I share this story on the internet for everyone to read and mock me?” And then I thought that this would help hundreds of people like me, and if it can motivate even one person to change for the better, the effort is worth it! I say I suffer from Bulimia nervosa , and I use the word “suffer” because it is a constant battle within myself even today. I do not binge and purge like I used to before but I would be lying if I say the thought does not cross my mind sometimes as a quick fix for my problems. How did my binging start? It all began about 15 years ago when at a tender age of 14 all I ever wanted to do was be ‘popular’. At that point in my life, I felt, like many young girls, that the only way to be popular was being a non-base cheerleader. In hindsight, I can safely say that being a cheerleader or being popular when you are young barely affects anything in your later life.

Graduating from one of the premier business schools in the United States, I had a vision. A vision that involved becoming the next Rockefeller. I got a job in a great firm with an enticing pay package. The future was crystal-clear to me. I’d invest my hard earned cash in stock. When I got the required capital, I would start my own business. I was on Cloud 9! What I didn’t realize was that my life at that moment was simply the proverbial ‘calm before the storm’.In my first year of work as an Assistant Project Manager, I realized that I’d literally signed away 5 days of my week wholesale in my 3-year contract! My life moved from weekends to weekends. I gained a good knowledge of the stock market. I befriended some of the brokers working in the opposite skyscraper. My net worth was constantly on the rise. That was the only thing that kept me going. And what I lost in the process was something I wasn’t even aware of. I had no time to work out. I was living on processed foods. 5 cups of coffee a day and about 20 cigarettes a day. Whiskey, every night, just to get a good night’s sleep.